Cooking for two: Newlyweds find connection in kitchen

Wedding vows are sacred. Within them two people find the words to profess their love, their lives and all they have to each other, forever and ever.

What you won't hear are heartfelt promises not to burn the biscuits.

For all of you June brides and bridegrooms out there, I hate to be a spoiler, but the catered food from the big day won't last long.

Before you know it, you'll be looking at each other over a plate of leftovers and wondering if you can find the pizza delivery number amid all the moving boxes and unwrapped wedding presents in your new place.

The realization will come that you and your significant other are going to have to cook something.

Which leads to the next realization: Between the two of you, there's one good pot, a dozen dull knives and lots of shiny new kitchen gadgets that you have zero idea how to use.

Take it from those who know: Marriage is all about learning to function as a team, and it's no different when it comes to kitchen and cooking duties.

Cooking is a great way to connect with each other. Keeping it harmonious just takes a little planning and organizing - a few bottles of wine, perhaps - and figuring out where your culinary strengths lie.

And if you don't have any, well ... learning together is fun, too.

Wife and husband Brooke Parkhurst and James Briscione are the authors of "Just Married & Cooking" (Scribner), a cookbook and kitchen guide for newlyweds. They've been married for two years.

Parkhurst is a columnist for the New York Daily News, and wrote the novel "Belle in the Big Apple." Briscione is a chef and a two-time winner of the Food Network's competition "Chopped." Both teach couples cooking classes at the Institute of Culinary Education and The Culinary Cooperative in New York City.

They spoke recently by phone about how newly married couples can find their rhythm in the kitchen.

It's not about forcing your meat-and-potatoes husband to learn to bake a triple-layer strawberry cake, Parkhurst said, or having a gourmet dinner on the table in 15 minutes, after a long day at work, as you see on television.

Instead, it's pretty simple. Just spend a few minutes on the weekends or in the morning as you're both getting ready for work to talk about what you want to eat that night or that week.

Then make a list. Parkhurst suggests setting aside time during the week for food shopping. At home, take turns doing prep work. Chop veggies or make a dip that you both like and can grab as soon as you get home.

That last part is pretty important, Parkhurst said, because so often, people are starving when they get home. Then they reach for foods they can grab fast.

"It's important not to have two grumpy cooks," Parkhurst said. So to curb hunger, and kick-start dinner, she suggests opening a bottle of wine and nibbling on foods that you can then incorporate into your meal. Things like olives and cheese or an assortment of nuts.

In fact, a section of their book is devoted to after-work appetizers - like a bleu cheese-walnut-apple spread or bruschetta with broccoli rabe and ricotta.

Unlike decades ago when many women stayed home and had time to prepare all the meals, "things are different now because both partners are working," Parkhurst said.

But if both people take responsibility for meals, she said, "cooking together can be sexy and practical."

For Richmond resident Alice Lynch, the sight of spaghetti and marinara sauce makes her smile. It's a dish that taught her and her husband a valuable lesson.

Lynch was a June bride. Next week, she and her husband, Dan, will celebrate their 23rd wedding anniversary.

Years ago, after Dan's first day back at work after the honeymoon, Lynch proudly served him a meal of spaghetti and homemade marinara. She used the formal wedding china, silver and crystal they'd received as gifts.

"What a thrill it was to dine in such elegance," Lynch said. And the next night, when he asked about dinner upon arriving home, she served him the leftovers.

"I felt a little like June Cleaver awaiting my husband's arrival from the office," she said.

But by the third night, when Dan asked about dinner again, she said she began to lose her cool. Lynch said she decided to see how long her spaghetti dinner would last before he realized that he needed to think about dinner, too.

After five nights, Dan caught on.

"Asking me what I had prepared for dinner wasn't the right approach since we were both working," Lynch said. "He learned that meal preparation should be a shared task."

Briscione said that having a plan, even if it's nothing more than a five-minute conversation over morning coffee, is essential. So is being flexible about the foods you and your partner like to eat.

You don't want to eat steak and mashed potatoes every night, and he hates anything green. So try incorporating thinner cuts of meats into your meals, particularly dinners, and cook at least one vegetable.

Starches like pasta and rice dishes that include veggies can be good, too, because they're quick and satisfying. And they make good leftovers for lunch the next day.

"It's a process, and you're learning every day," Briscione said. "The important thing is no one has to completely give up what they want."

He encouraged couples to take risks with new foods they've never tried before.

"Have fun with it," he said, "and expect to make some mistakes."

"Those mistakes are the best teachers," he added.

Compromise and communication, finger-lickin' good times and burned-beyond-recognition mistakes: That sounds like a recipe for a good marriage.

hprestidge@timesdispatch.com (804) 649-6945

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The Spaniard

Makes 4 sandwiches.

1 9-ounce jar piquillo peppers, drained

1 tablespoon sherry vinegar

½ teaspoon smoked paprika

2 tablespoons quince OR fig paste

2 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature

 8 slices white bread, divided

4 ounces manchego OR Garrotxa cheese, thinly sliced or grated

4 ounces serrano ham, thinly sliced

Olive oil as needed

Dress the peppers with the vinegar and paprika. Set aside. Blend the quince or fig paste with the cream cheese until smooth.

Spread an even layer of the cream-cheese mixture on 2 slices of bread. Cover each slice with the cheese. Arrange the ham and peppers on top of the cheese and press the 2 sides of the sandwich together.

Brush the outside of the bread generously with olive oil. Heat a cast-iron skillet or nonstick pan over medium heat. Add the sandwich to the pan, press lightly with a spatula, and leave to cook until golden brown on one side, about 3 minutes. Flip the sandwich and brown on the second side, 2 to 3 minutes. Remove the sandwich from the pan and cool slightly before cutting.

Alternatively, toast in the oven on a baking sheet at 425°.

Repeat the process with the remaining ingredients.

“Just Married & Cooking: 200 Recipes for Living, Eating, and Entertaining Together” by Brooke Parkhurst and James Briscione

 
 
"Dan's Favorite" Spaghetti Sauce

Makes 4-6 servings.

 ¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil

1 sweet onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced

2 large cans whole, peeled Italian tomatoes

 1 12-ounce can tomato paste

1 tablespoon sugar

2 teaspoons basil OR Italian seasoning

1 teaspoon salt OR to taste

In a saucepan, warm olive oil over medium heat. Add chopped onion and garlic and cook about 5 minutes until onion is translucent and starting to turn golden. Be careful not to burn the garlic.

Using clean hands, crush the tomatoes in the can and add the entire contents of the can to the saucepan. Add the remaining ingredients, stirring to combine. Simmer, stirring frequently, for about 30 minutes.

Serve immediately or refrigerate up to one week. This sauce also freezes well.

Variations include adding browned meat, and other vegetables can be sautéed with the onion.

Alice Lynch

 
Grilled Chicken Panzanella
 
Makes 4-6 servings.

1 loaf leftover bread (Italian, French baguette OR sourdough)

7 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided

2 cloves garlic, crushed

Kosher salt AND freshly ground pepper to taste

1 red onion

¼ cup red-wine vinegar

 1 large ripe tomato

2 tablespoons pitted black olives, halved

2 tablespoons torn fresh basil leaves

4 grilled chicken breasts, sliced

1 to 2 cups diced mozzarella cheese

Preheat oven to 350°.

Begin by trimming the dark crusts from the bread and cut the bread into ½- to 1-inch cubes. In a bowl, toss the cubes of bread with 4 tablespoons olive oil, garlic and salt and pepper. Mix well and spread on a baking sheet in a single layer. Toast in the oven until golden brown, about 7 minutes.

Next cut the red onion in half through the root. Lay one of the halved onions flat on the cutting board, trim away the root and stem ends, and slice lengthwise as thinly as possible. Keep the other half of the onion tightly wrapped in the refrigerator and save for another use.

In a small bowl, mix the sliced onion with the vinegar. Season with salt and pepper and mix well. Set aside to marinate for at least 15 minutes.

Remove the core from the tomato and coarsely chop. Scrape the chopped tomato and all its juices into a large bowl. Pour off the excess vinegar from the onion and add the onion to the tomato along with the olives and basil. Stir gently until combined.

Remove the bread from the oven and cool slightly before adding the tomato mixture. Stir together, adding the grilled chicken, cheese and the remaining olive oil. Season with salt and pepper.

“Just Married & Cooking: 200 Recipes for Living, Eating, and Entertaining Together” by Brooke Parkhurst and James Briscione